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BAND-AID
Little Johnny went to the Doctor to get a vaccination. After the shot, the Doc pulled out a Band-Aid and started to cover the spot on his arm. Johnny asked him to put it on the other arm.
The Doctor said, “I put the Band-Aid over where you got the shot to let others know that it’s tender and they shouldn’t touch it. Why do you want it on the other arm?”
Johnny answered, “You really don’t know much about little boys, do you?”
[ Arizona Humor ]
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PAST TENSE
My wife and I and our three-year-old daughter Carrie were visiting friends who had a newborn child. When the infant began to cry, the mother started up the stairs to the nursery and asked Carrie if she’d like to help. Thrilled, Carrie followed, and after a few minutes, the crying stopped.
Suddenly, we heard the baby start crying again, even more loudly than before. Soon Carrie appeared at the foot of the stairs and said proudly, “Daddy, I ‘helded’ the baby!”
As an English professor, I couldn’t help saying, “That’s nice, Carrie, but what’s the past tense of ‘hold’?”
She paused for a moment, looked down at the carpet, and in a soft voice responded, “Dropped?”
[Phillip B. Linker, Cartoons O’ The Day, via Aiken Drum]
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THE MAGICIAN
“What’s your father’s occupation?” asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
“He’s a magician, Ma’am” said Little Johnny.
“How interesting. What’s his favorite trick?”
“He saws people in half.”
“Gee! now, the next question. Any brothers or sisters?”
“One half brother and two half sisters.”
[Aiken Drum]
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FATHER-SON TALK
A man scolded his son for being so unruly, and the boy rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, “I’m running away from home!”
The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. “What if you get hungry?,” he said.
“Then I’ll come home and eat!,” bravely declared the child.
“And what if you run out of money?”
“I will come home and get some!,” readily replied the child.
The man then made a final attempt, “What if your clothes get dirty?”
“Then I’ll come home and let mommy wash them,” was the reply.
The man shook his head and exclaimed, “This kid is not running away from home; he’s going off to college.”
[ received from www.cybersalt.org ]
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FATHER AND SON
Dear Dad:
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on.
———–
The Answer:
Dear Son:
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
[Aiken Drum]
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