Q: If Santa doesn’t have to age, then why has he become old?
A: He only appears to be old. He’s an undercover kid.
Q: How can a sleigh possibly fly through the air?
A: If you were being pulled by eight flying reindeer, wouldn’t you fly too?
Q: Why do reindeer have red noses?
A: They are not equipped with ABS and thus tend to bump into things on slippery surfaces. This is why Santa is often seen with a red nose (the sleigh doesn’t have an airbag, either).
Q: Why do we wish people a “Merry Christmas” instead of a “Happy Christmas”?
A: The two are about the same, but with “Merry Christmas” an extra twinkle is seen in the eyes.
Q: Why is a Christmas tree that has been chopped down called a “live Christmas tree?”
A: It’s dead but doesn’t know it, and yet it’s having the time of its life.
Q: Why do we wrap our Christmas gifts with paper?
A: Because we like to see surprise and joy (real or kindly faked) in the recipients.
Q: How many gifts can Santa Claus’s bag hold?
A: One less than infinity. Why one less? Because there’s a limit to everything.
Q: How could a star that is high in the sky lead the Wise Men to a tiny manger on the ground?
A: Wisely, toward the end of their journey they asked directions from someone on the road. Had they not been so wise, they might have missed the manger by several hundred miles. (That person on the road has never been identified.)
Q: Is there really a Mrs. Santa Claus?
A: The best way to know for sure is to ask Santa Claus next time you see him.
