You know you’re in Arizona when…

You’ve signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can’t remember the name of the incumbent.

You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

You can say Hohokam and people don’t think you’re laughing funny.

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

You see more irrigation water flowing down the street than there is in the Salt River.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

You can say 115 degrees without fainting.

You have to go to a fake beach for fake waves.

You quickly discover (in July) that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.

You can make sun tea outside faster than instant tea in the microwave.

You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

You realize that Valley Fever isn’t a disco dance.

Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

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